Why are we still debating gays in the military?
2300 hundred years after my death and they're still debating gays in the military? On behalf of myself and a whole bunch of ancient greek warriors I say get over it! We're here, we're queer and our mission is clear. I kicked ass and took names from the Bosphorus to Bactria. What's the big deal with what a soldier does in his own tent? Unit cohesion and morale my Macedonian Ass.

I led the finest army and was never whipped (I mean I never lost a battle, the boys from the Lambda brigade would contradict that first statement). I nearly conquered the world (Who knew India would be sooo big?) I did everything for my men and my Empire. I even married Roxanne and produced an heir. Talk about taking one for the team. If it wasn't for hard fighing warriors like me the Western world would be just another Satrapy of the Persian Empire. Think about that the next time you see Ahmedinejad ranting at the UN.